Our Remarkable Staff
Meet the Team
6 elite feline engineers. Combined nappiness: 498 hours per week. Combined valid commits: still calculating.
Dr. Purr-a-lot
Visionary leader. Refuses to look at roadmaps unless printed on raw tuna. Holds 14 patents for advanced horizontal napping. Has never attended a standup. Rumored to have once opened an eye during a board meeting.
Byte
Knows everything. Says little. Responsible for all critical infrastructure decisions, most of which are made by sitting on the relevant hardware until it behaves. Once deleted a production database and a bug that had been open for three years. Net positive quarter.
Mittens
Zero-trust architect. Hisses at all unauthorized PRs and two-thirds of authorized ones. Guards the radiator (our firewall). Has not approved a single PR since Q3 2019. Considered our most reliable employee.
Captain Floof
Specializes in continuous delivery by physically carrying USB sticks in mouth. Pioneered the push-to-floor deployment methodology. Infrastructure held together by hope and static fur.
Queen Sofyie
Conducts all user research by staring at hoomans for hours without blinking. Interprets confusion as delight. Published groundbreaking paper: "Why Users Always Try to Pet the Screen." It is Queen Sofyie. Not Princess. Update your records.
Lord Whiskers III
Tests all features by knocking them off the table. If it survives the fall, it ships. If it breaks, it is documented as expected behavior under gravity conditions. Lord Whiskers I and II are unavailable for comment. Test coverage: 0.003%.